If you hear of any techniques for teaching control of emotional state, let me know, I'm all ears.
The only technique I know of (and there may well be others) is "systematic desensitization", exposing the subject to increasingly intense experiences of the type they have a phobia regarding, interleaved with time to emotionally recover, introspect, and learn/devise coping strategies. (ah, there is a Wikipedia page on it) I gather it helps a lot if the subject can be guided by someone who has had the same phobia but has overcome it. I've seen press reports of progressive desensitization being used for claustrophobia, and I've used it on myself to reduce my social phobias. (See Zimbardo's Shyness (http://www.amazon.com/Shyness-What-It-Is-About/dp/0201550180) for a series of exercises that are essentially that.)
Of course, no technique will work unless the subject believes it is necessary to change (for one reason or another). But to succeed in the Real World, one must adjust one's emotional processes to match the demands of the world, since the world won't do so. Ideally you can help your daughter realize this before she's 22 and hunting for her first job.
that skill just involves some neurological maturation that she's delayed in.
The question that comes to me is why don't you delay her education until she has the neurological maturity expected/demanded of children in that grade?
she's learning all the wrong things such as "math is hateful" and "I suck at math".
I guess it comes from my personal background, but I don't see these as terribly important. Certainly I was poor at arithmetic and still am (particularly multiplying 6, 7, and 8) and I still don't like it. Other parts of math I like. But I see those likes/dislikes as being intrinsic to my personality, not learned aversions. As for how one conceptualizes one's skills, presumably that is updated based on experience.
Deep under this is the idea that school is not about what one enjoys but what one must do. And an incredibly valuable skill is the ability to diligently do things that are distasteful. Certainly in my life, lack of self-discipline has been much more of a barrier to success than lack of intelligence or other inherent skills. So school is a good place to learn self-discipline. Conversely, if a child learns that raising a fuss when confronted with an unpleasant task gets one out of doing the task, the opposite lesson is learned.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2013-03-01 10:51 pm (UTC)The only technique I know of (and there may well be others) is "systematic desensitization", exposing the subject to increasingly intense experiences of the type they have a phobia regarding, interleaved with time to emotionally recover, introspect, and learn/devise coping strategies. (ah, there is a Wikipedia page on it) I gather it helps a lot if the subject can be guided by someone who has had the same phobia but has overcome it. I've seen press reports of progressive desensitization being used for claustrophobia, and I've used it on myself to reduce my social phobias. (See Zimbardo's Shyness (http://www.amazon.com/Shyness-What-It-Is-About/dp/0201550180) for a series of exercises that are essentially that.)
Of course, no technique will work unless the subject believes it is necessary to change (for one reason or another). But to succeed in the Real World, one must adjust one's emotional processes to match the demands of the world, since the world won't do so. Ideally you can help your daughter realize this before she's 22 and hunting for her first job.
that skill just involves some neurological maturation that she's delayed in.
The question that comes to me is why don't you delay her education until she has the neurological maturity expected/demanded of children in that grade?
she's learning all the wrong things such as "math is hateful" and "I suck at math".
I guess it comes from my personal background, but I don't see these as terribly important. Certainly I was poor at arithmetic and still am (particularly multiplying 6, 7, and 8) and I still don't like it. Other parts of math I like. But I see those likes/dislikes as being intrinsic to my personality, not learned aversions. As for how one conceptualizes one's skills, presumably that is updated based on experience.
Deep under this is the idea that school is not about what one enjoys but what one must do. And an incredibly valuable skill is the ability to diligently do things that are distasteful. Certainly in my life, lack of self-discipline has been much more of a barrier to success than lack of intelligence or other inherent skills. So school is a good place to learn self-discipline. Conversely, if a child learns that raising a fuss when confronted with an unpleasant task gets one out of doing the task, the opposite lesson is learned.