There is no one good and absolute answer but in general "sooner" beats "later."

Not long ago a friend of mine from grad school died of cancer. His partner was not able to arrange a memorial until June, which seems like forever away. A wise person once said "Funerals are for the living."

*lots of words deleted* Do what feels right; you're carrying a lot of weight already and pleasing other people is not a weight you need to carry as well.