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[personal profile] chhotii
A few weeks ago I played chess with my mother for the first time in at least 40 years. I rarely play chess and hadn't played a human opponent in decades. Observations of how I behave in a chess game:

It's my turn. I think, hmm, nothing in imminent danger so how am I going to advance my position this turn? I could move my knight out. But, oh no, out it the middle of the board, my knight might be in DANGER! I love my knight! Anxiety, anxiety... So maybe I could move that bishop out. But, oh no, out it the middle of the board, my bishop might be in DANGER! I need my bishops! Anxiety, anxiety... The queen has a clear path to move out. But, oh no, out it the middle of the board, my queen might be in DANGER! I would just die if I stupidly lost the queen! Anxiety, anxiety... Hmm, well, I can advance a pawn. Sure, one of the pawns out on the edge of the board, where nothing is happening. Someday I will want to move out a rook. Someday... So I move a pawn, w00t, 2 spaces forward.

My mother (though a more experienced chess player than I am) is similarly over-cautious. It had to be the most timid, plodding chess game ever.

It occurred to me that the way I play chess probably says a lot about my personality, and the way I live my life, the life choices I make. Always too timid to make a big daring move, just trying to get somewhere through tiny, incremental, safe steps.

Maybe I should try to stop being like that, and try to make a bigger move sometimes?


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