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May. 9th, 2014
moving logistics
May. 9th, 2014 04:40 amLots of thoughts tonight, about death, suffering, and tragedy, and bleak black cracks in the soul. None of which I can post about, because this would get into posting very personal details about other people on the Internet. Even the deceased need some amount of privacy. So, I'm going to post about things that I'm keeping busy with.
So! Remember what I was posting about before all this happened. I have (sooner than I expected) possession of my new apartment. But the lease on my old apartment doesn't expire until June 30.
Well, I was going to use this ridiculous amount of overlap to do some renovation on the new place. New windows? Bathroom? Paint? And what to do about the 1970's-era kitchen cabinets? So, yeah, Sophia and I are kind of camping out in the new apartment, but I hadn't brought over much stuff, so we can get out of the way of any renovation in a hurry and easily. The only obstacle, really, was indecisiveness. What shade of paint? Which projects to prioritize? Make the small cosmetic fixes, or really thoroughly fix things for good?
Now, none of this is going to happen any time soon. Clearly I need to sell the house-- continuing to support the house is not sustainable on my income. Clearly, I am going to need to have a bunch of stuff fixed and taken care of, or else I will be penalized hundreds of thousands on the selling price of the house. Things that make the house look dreadful (like the state of the yard). Things that make the house inspectors turn beet-red. This, I'm sure, is going to suck up every bit of cash I can liquidate. Also, this will keep me busy. (Like I wasn't busy already! Hah!) So, renovations on new apartment later. Much later. I am getting new carpet for Sophia's room, a bit of an indulgence, because that one thing I think it's too late to back out on. But the rest goes way, way down lower on the to-do list.
So if I'm not doing renovations on the new apartment any time soon, I might as well just move all my stuff into it ASAP.
Things that I cannot tackle on my own:
Twin-size mattress.
Full-size mattress.
Twin-size loft bed (will require minor disassembly and re-assembly)
Dining room table (small but heavy)
Enormous Expidit shelving unit (will require disassembly and re-assembly)
3 narrow Expidit shelving units
...Can I bribe some of you with pizza and beer? Or should I go to TaskRabbit?
So! Remember what I was posting about before all this happened. I have (sooner than I expected) possession of my new apartment. But the lease on my old apartment doesn't expire until June 30.
Well, I was going to use this ridiculous amount of overlap to do some renovation on the new place. New windows? Bathroom? Paint? And what to do about the 1970's-era kitchen cabinets? So, yeah, Sophia and I are kind of camping out in the new apartment, but I hadn't brought over much stuff, so we can get out of the way of any renovation in a hurry and easily. The only obstacle, really, was indecisiveness. What shade of paint? Which projects to prioritize? Make the small cosmetic fixes, or really thoroughly fix things for good?
Now, none of this is going to happen any time soon. Clearly I need to sell the house-- continuing to support the house is not sustainable on my income. Clearly, I am going to need to have a bunch of stuff fixed and taken care of, or else I will be penalized hundreds of thousands on the selling price of the house. Things that make the house look dreadful (like the state of the yard). Things that make the house inspectors turn beet-red. This, I'm sure, is going to suck up every bit of cash I can liquidate. Also, this will keep me busy. (Like I wasn't busy already! Hah!) So, renovations on new apartment later. Much later. I am getting new carpet for Sophia's room, a bit of an indulgence, because that one thing I think it's too late to back out on. But the rest goes way, way down lower on the to-do list.
So if I'm not doing renovations on the new apartment any time soon, I might as well just move all my stuff into it ASAP.
Things that I cannot tackle on my own:
Twin-size mattress.
Full-size mattress.
Twin-size loft bed (will require minor disassembly and re-assembly)
Dining room table (small but heavy)
Enormous Expidit shelving unit (will require disassembly and re-assembly)
3 narrow Expidit shelving units
...Can I bribe some of you with pizza and beer? Or should I go to TaskRabbit?
plans, minimal, tentative
May. 9th, 2014 11:51 amNote to self: Today is Friday. (I keep forgetting that.)
Today (Friday) some people-- Katie and Mish, I think-- are going to be at the house to clean up that which they think I shouldn't have to deal with upstairs. They might be there now. I should go there. Cleaning the house is going to be a large on-going process, and I'm not good for much else today, having only gotten about 1 to 1.5 hours of sleep last night. Other people known to me would be welcome to come, tidy up and/or give moral support and/or pick through the books (sci/fi and technical) and take what books they want.
Tomorrow (Saturday) I am to meet up with Matt in Braintree. We shall discuss Arrangements.
Sunday-- I don't know; more sorting through stuff at the house? I think that Sophia can hang out in North Reading on Sunday, even though Walter and Janet have their own load of woe to deal with.
Let's tentatively plan to move my apartment (large furniture items only) NEXT SATURDAY THE 17TH. You all will want me to have unloaded the bookcases, and clear around aforementioned large items of furniture, before you attempt to move them.
Many thanks to everyone who has offered support and help. I am overwhelmed in so many ways.
Today (Friday) some people-- Katie and Mish, I think-- are going to be at the house to clean up that which they think I shouldn't have to deal with upstairs. They might be there now. I should go there. Cleaning the house is going to be a large on-going process, and I'm not good for much else today, having only gotten about 1 to 1.5 hours of sleep last night. Other people known to me would be welcome to come, tidy up and/or give moral support and/or pick through the books (sci/fi and technical) and take what books they want.
Tomorrow (Saturday) I am to meet up with Matt in Braintree. We shall discuss Arrangements.
Sunday-- I don't know; more sorting through stuff at the house? I think that Sophia can hang out in North Reading on Sunday, even though Walter and Janet have their own load of woe to deal with.
Let's tentatively plan to move my apartment (large furniture items only) NEXT SATURDAY THE 17TH. You all will want me to have unloaded the bookcases, and clear around aforementioned large items of furniture, before you attempt to move them.
Many thanks to everyone who has offered support and help. I am overwhelmed in so many ways.
what he would have specified...
May. 9th, 2014 01:18 pmSome of this is about what he would have wanted. Some of this he wouldn't have been picky about, but it's what I wish, and compatible with what he would have wished.
1) There should be NO OPEN CASKET. I'm unclear on the gory details. That there are gory details to be unclear about means that Rich is not, uh, looking his best these days. I know that morticians, to accommodate the bizarre wishes of many families to have an open casket, have become quite the artists with the makeup etc. to basically build a manikin of the person around the remains. IMHO the results always look creepy. I don't anticipate any argument from his family on this; there were no open caskets for Juliet and Susan, although perhaps the argument there was that even greater miracles would be required from the mortician.
2) CREMATION. I'm not sure that we had any serious in-depth discussion on this point. But Rich did not believe that his self would be tied in any way to his body after death, and thus was not picky on this issue. I think he would have gone for this as being the practical and convenient for the family choice. This is my preference, and clearly his family will have no issue with that-- both Juliet and Susan were cremated.
3) DO NOT HAVE THE MEMORIAL SERVICE IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH. (Or any other church.) Sure, Rich's family was ethnically Catholic, but he had serious philosophical disagreements with the Catholic church. I don't care how cool the new pope is; not enough movement, fast enough. Susan's funeral was in the Church, and Rich was just appalled.
This might be an issue.
OK, if the family really, really, really fights me on this, then maybe, just maybe, we could do it in the B.C. High chapel, IF (some big serious important if's here) the priest is some super-open-minded liberal Jesuit who's OK with all kinds of weird music at the service, if he swears, absolutely, that the service will be All About Rich, not about Jesus. I'm not sure if even a Jesuit can shut up about Jesus, though.
Hmmm.
Is there some weird, secular, temple-like setting were one might have a funeral, without Jesus, but enough of a spiritual vibe that his family is fooled into thinking he had religion? Who runs the service in such a setting-- the funeral director? (Lucky me, I haven't attended a whole lot of funerals in my life.)
4) Somebody should spread his ashes on the Playa during Burning Man, I guess. I think he would like that best. Although, he didn't really care that much. Nor do I. And his family would probably have a cow about this. Well, if it's so important, I guess Matt can keep his brother in a box on the mantle, or whatever, if it's so important to him. (But, somebody does need to hang both Rich's and Juliet's pictures in The Temple, at least. Volunteers?)
5) I think a bunch of people can each say a few words at the memorial service. Walter can talk about how important music was to Rich; Matt, about how strong Rich was; Phil could tell some hilarious story involving elevators at MIT or something. Somebody, Mish maybe, could talk about the new, Burning-Man Rich.
6) Given how important music was in Rich's life, and how talented his family and friends are, there should be some diverse, live music at the memorial service. The offerings could be kind if weird for a memorial service, but off-beat would be fitting for Rich.
So... I have never organized such a thing before. Juliet's father organized Juliet's memorial service primarily. Matt was probably involved in organizing the stuff for their mother, but it turned out to be cookie-cutter Catholic service (bletch). Once we have a funeral home, we have a funeral director? And they will coordinate with anyone who has a part to contribute to the service? I guess? Hmm, maybe the funeral home in Wilmington is too square to pull this off. Any recommendations? Some place in artistic Somerville?
1) There should be NO OPEN CASKET. I'm unclear on the gory details. That there are gory details to be unclear about means that Rich is not, uh, looking his best these days. I know that morticians, to accommodate the bizarre wishes of many families to have an open casket, have become quite the artists with the makeup etc. to basically build a manikin of the person around the remains. IMHO the results always look creepy. I don't anticipate any argument from his family on this; there were no open caskets for Juliet and Susan, although perhaps the argument there was that even greater miracles would be required from the mortician.
2) CREMATION. I'm not sure that we had any serious in-depth discussion on this point. But Rich did not believe that his self would be tied in any way to his body after death, and thus was not picky on this issue. I think he would have gone for this as being the practical and convenient for the family choice. This is my preference, and clearly his family will have no issue with that-- both Juliet and Susan were cremated.
3) DO NOT HAVE THE MEMORIAL SERVICE IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH. (Or any other church.) Sure, Rich's family was ethnically Catholic, but he had serious philosophical disagreements with the Catholic church. I don't care how cool the new pope is; not enough movement, fast enough. Susan's funeral was in the Church, and Rich was just appalled.
This might be an issue.
OK, if the family really, really, really fights me on this, then maybe, just maybe, we could do it in the B.C. High chapel, IF (some big serious important if's here) the priest is some super-open-minded liberal Jesuit who's OK with all kinds of weird music at the service, if he swears, absolutely, that the service will be All About Rich, not about Jesus. I'm not sure if even a Jesuit can shut up about Jesus, though.
Hmmm.
Is there some weird, secular, temple-like setting were one might have a funeral, without Jesus, but enough of a spiritual vibe that his family is fooled into thinking he had religion? Who runs the service in such a setting-- the funeral director? (Lucky me, I haven't attended a whole lot of funerals in my life.)
4) Somebody should spread his ashes on the Playa during Burning Man, I guess. I think he would like that best. Although, he didn't really care that much. Nor do I. And his family would probably have a cow about this. Well, if it's so important, I guess Matt can keep his brother in a box on the mantle, or whatever, if it's so important to him. (But, somebody does need to hang both Rich's and Juliet's pictures in The Temple, at least. Volunteers?)
5) I think a bunch of people can each say a few words at the memorial service. Walter can talk about how important music was to Rich; Matt, about how strong Rich was; Phil could tell some hilarious story involving elevators at MIT or something. Somebody, Mish maybe, could talk about the new, Burning-Man Rich.
6) Given how important music was in Rich's life, and how talented his family and friends are, there should be some diverse, live music at the memorial service. The offerings could be kind if weird for a memorial service, but off-beat would be fitting for Rich.
So... I have never organized such a thing before. Juliet's father organized Juliet's memorial service primarily. Matt was probably involved in organizing the stuff for their mother, but it turned out to be cookie-cutter Catholic service (bletch). Once we have a funeral home, we have a funeral director? And they will coordinate with anyone who has a part to contribute to the service? I guess? Hmm, maybe the funeral home in Wilmington is too square to pull this off. Any recommendations? Some place in artistic Somerville?
(no subject)
May. 9th, 2014 03:48 pmTo done:
* spoke with HR person at Rich's employment
* cancelled (postponed, but to date not yet determined) Sophia's upcoming dental appointments, explaining the situation
* left voice mail basically firing one of therapists (time to fire the therapist when Crisis happens and you can't imagine that the therapist will be helpful with Crisis)
* texted guy who owns my parking spot, apologized for not looking into the missing rent check, explained the situation
Still having trouble with:
* eating
*sleeping
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