conflicting societal messages

[chhotii]

On the one hand, society says "be responsible for your child; know where she is and what she's doing at all times."

On the other hand, it says "don't be a helicopter parent."

How do you resolve these conflicting ideals?

Comments

[kirkcudbright.livejournal.com]

Know your child, her abilities (social and otherwise), and her limitations. Give her as much space as she needs (and has earned), and trust her within that space.

Obviously Kylie is at a different place than Sophia, but for the last few Baitcons, the rules have all boiled down to Don't Be Stupid - don't leave the property, don't do anything that's going to cause damage (especially if you don't have back-up), don't forget to eat, etc. And she's earned the freedom of a Young Adult.

When she was younger, Baitcon rules were more like stay with [one of a limited number of responsible adults], use your words, don't forget to eat, etc.

[perspicuity.livejournal.com]

gps tracking implants? then you know where she is... until she's smart enough to hack the system...

to me, there seems to be a large range between helicoptering (arms length control) and free range distances.

i'd imagine at baitcon, on property, but out of sight is usually okay, as long as there's a check-in period... ymmv elsewhere i guess

#

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

you gradually exchange the first ideal for the second as the kid grows up.

[spinrabbit.livejournal.com]

Along with what was said above: reconcile yourself to the fact that, no matter what you do, there will be a substantial faction who will be convinced that you are Doing It Wrong. Flesh out the reasoning for your particular decisions enough that when confronted with members of those factions you can, in your own mind or to them depending on the situation, coherently respond to their positions.

Also be prepared to re-adjust your boundaries, in either direction, as circumstances change or as you gain new information.

[achinhibitor.livejournal.com]

I suppose it depends on how old the kid is.

But you needn't satisfy all the conflicting ideals of the society around you -- that way lies madness.

My parents planned things so the kids would "be free at 21".