wedding gift clue

[chhotii]

I have been invited to a bridal shower. I don't think I've ever been invited to a bridal shower before. In the bridal shower invite came the info about the gift registry. How does this work? Does the gift we buy go to the bridal shower, or to the wedding reception? Surely we aren't supposed to buy two gifts?

Comments

[koshmom.livejournal.com]

My experience with my family is that a shower gift is something practical (i.e. toaster, cookware, plates, etc), and then you give cash in a card at the wedding reception. In my family clan, it was almost unheard-of to receive a gift of an item at a wedding reception. I do know that in some clans, cash in a card at a wedding is considered crass. So check with family of the side of the family you are closer to (i.e. "mother of the bride or groom" or sister) for what is appropriate in that family. If you can't find anyone, ask the maid of honor.

Two seperate things

[sweetmmeblue.livejournal.com]

You give a small bride-centric gift at the bridal shower and something for the couple either directly mailed to them through their registry, or a card with money at the wedding, or mail them the gift after the wedding.

So, your relationship to the bride makes a big difference. The best way to think of this is what would you get this person for a birthday gift? That will give you an idea as to the level of appropriate bridal shower gift.

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

Yeah, two separate gifts, as noted. The point of the event is to "shower" the bride with some kind of tangible present. If you do not or cannot attend the shower in person, you need not send a gift. (Not that you are ever obligated per se to send a gift, but there are obligations and obligations.)

But the shower gift is usually a more modest one, and (in my understanding) tradition permits you further to give a somewhat less lavish wedding gift if you have given one already at the shower.

[skreeky]

Showers are a pure gift grab - the whole point is that you have to buy a second gift. Usually both are from the registry, although I tend to be more creative and more likely to go off registry with shower gifts. If you aren't willing to buy the couple two gifts, decline the shower invitation.

There is no shame in declining if you aren't super-close to the bride. Traditionally, the shower was immediate family and the bridal party, period. The trend of inviting every female that is invited to the wedding is absurd and frankly greedy.