(no subject)
Jun. 16th, 2021 10:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chhotiiThe fact that women earn, on average, significantly less than men is held up as evidence of sexism, since women are no less smart and hard working as men. What else could it be? There's not a lot of jobs anymore where height and upper body strength make a lot of difference.
I have a radical notion: that while it's sexism as the root cause, yes, it's not entirely the sexist attitudes of employers. The sexism that permeates our society (which isn't really the fault of any particular individual employer) is that if you have a child, and that child has any needs, it's much more likely that the buck stops with you if you're the mother. Particularly in the areas of personal care and attention and attending to (as opposed to financial needs.)
Perhaps I am insane to be trying to re-boot my software development career while trying to chivvy my neuro-atypical teen through the high school graduation requirements. But, I was like... Vic is 16!?!??! Nearly adult! Vic can cook! Why does Vic seem to need as much attention now as at age 5?
I need to be three people: the bread-winner, the home-maker, and the student. Sometimes it all crashes into me at once and nearly crushes me. I just turned in the first major assignment for my Analysis of Algorithms class, which got completed during the work week because last weekend we went camping. I don't regret going camping-- it was fabulous-- but came back exhausted and then found that as I unpacked the assignment it had all kinds of extra requirements tucked away in the corners (like "learn UML"!) and too exhausted, overwhelmed, and busy with work to figure out the actual worse-case efficiency of my algorithm until late this afternoon, which was really pushing it way, way too late. (The assignment is due tomorrow morning at 6:00 am. Why 6:00 am? I guess nobody will be working up until the last minute if the deadline is 6:00 am.)
Vic wanted me to take them eye-glasses shopping. I am so, so, so sorry that Vic does not have more than one parent. This one parent did not have enough time for both schoolwork which was required and work, also required, let alone eyeglass shopping.
A more self-motivated kid would walk themselves the two blocks over to Felix's little eyeglasses shop and pick out frames on their own. They can't order glasses without me and the magic credit card, but they could pick out frames. Or at least look at frames. Right? Vic, however, is offended at the idea of going to Felix's shop, since Felix always cheerily greets us as "ladies". Ugh.
This coming weekend:
1) Try to get AHEAD on my schoolwork
2) Vic eyeglasses shopping
3) Buy food
4) Tons of work-work, try to make up for time lost this sprint to camping prep, camping recovery, and schoolwork distraction, so as to not get too badly excoriated at Tuesday's sprint review
Imagine the software I could write if I were not continually just totally scattered.
Tomorrow, in the fucking middle of the work-day, we are supposed to do a "virtual escape room" as some kind of team-building social thing. Participating in the "virtual escape room" is neither one of the sprint goals, nor directly related, as far as I can tell, to fixing any of the project's major flaws. I cannot put this on my resume. I plan to sleep badly and beg off participating by complaining that I feel like crap tomorrow. To this end, I fueled up with coffee to power myself through the last bit of my homework alarmingly late in the day. My algorithm pseudo-code is written with verve; the escape room doesn't get any.
I have a radical notion: that while it's sexism as the root cause, yes, it's not entirely the sexist attitudes of employers. The sexism that permeates our society (which isn't really the fault of any particular individual employer) is that if you have a child, and that child has any needs, it's much more likely that the buck stops with you if you're the mother. Particularly in the areas of personal care and attention and attending to (as opposed to financial needs.)
Perhaps I am insane to be trying to re-boot my software development career while trying to chivvy my neuro-atypical teen through the high school graduation requirements. But, I was like... Vic is 16!?!??! Nearly adult! Vic can cook! Why does Vic seem to need as much attention now as at age 5?
I need to be three people: the bread-winner, the home-maker, and the student. Sometimes it all crashes into me at once and nearly crushes me. I just turned in the first major assignment for my Analysis of Algorithms class, which got completed during the work week because last weekend we went camping. I don't regret going camping-- it was fabulous-- but came back exhausted and then found that as I unpacked the assignment it had all kinds of extra requirements tucked away in the corners (like "learn UML"!) and too exhausted, overwhelmed, and busy with work to figure out the actual worse-case efficiency of my algorithm until late this afternoon, which was really pushing it way, way too late. (The assignment is due tomorrow morning at 6:00 am. Why 6:00 am? I guess nobody will be working up until the last minute if the deadline is 6:00 am.)
Vic wanted me to take them eye-glasses shopping. I am so, so, so sorry that Vic does not have more than one parent. This one parent did not have enough time for both schoolwork which was required and work, also required, let alone eyeglass shopping.
A more self-motivated kid would walk themselves the two blocks over to Felix's little eyeglasses shop and pick out frames on their own. They can't order glasses without me and the magic credit card, but they could pick out frames. Or at least look at frames. Right? Vic, however, is offended at the idea of going to Felix's shop, since Felix always cheerily greets us as "ladies". Ugh.
This coming weekend:
1) Try to get AHEAD on my schoolwork
2) Vic eyeglasses shopping
3) Buy food
4) Tons of work-work, try to make up for time lost this sprint to camping prep, camping recovery, and schoolwork distraction, so as to not get too badly excoriated at Tuesday's sprint review
Imagine the software I could write if I were not continually just totally scattered.
Tomorrow, in the fucking middle of the work-day, we are supposed to do a "virtual escape room" as some kind of team-building social thing. Participating in the "virtual escape room" is neither one of the sprint goals, nor directly related, as far as I can tell, to fixing any of the project's major flaws. I cannot put this on my resume. I plan to sleep badly and beg off participating by complaining that I feel like crap tomorrow. To this end, I fueled up with coffee to power myself through the last bit of my homework alarmingly late in the day. My algorithm pseudo-code is written with verve; the escape room doesn't get any.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-21 08:56 pm (UTC)Why does Vic seem to need as much attention now as at age 5?
I know your pain, sister.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-26 11:03 pm (UTC)