Hmm, it's Father's Day
Jun. 20th, 2004 04:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chhotiiCrap, I didn't buy a card.
Normally I ignore the holiday. I don't think this bothers my father. He is not the sentimental type and doesn't stand on silly ceremony. I can tell he delegates the task of sending me 2 cards a year (Christmas and my birthday) to his wife. And, realizing that he has already bought everything he needs and enough clutter and books to fill the house, he has called a halt to Christmas gift exchange, much to my relief. Screw the greeting card industry for trying to guilt us all into buying more stuff.
But I actually should communicate with Dad. He doesn't know that I'm expecting a kid or that I'm in the process of buying a house. These things are Big News and delaying telling him too much longer would be lameness. I figure you don't need to tell anyone about expecting a kid until the end of the first trimester, due to the chance of miscarriage; and, likewise, it might be crowing too soon to talk about a house purchase until the P&S. So this gives me a week or two of slack before it starts becoming lame of me to keep mum on things.
But Father's Day should be a perfect opportunity to catch up. A Good Daughter would call Dad on Father's Day to say "happy father's day" and tell all the news. But I hate talking on the phone, and I think that Dad is exactly the same way. We really don't like talking on the phone when there might be some awkwardness in the conversation. Awkward-- like, I don't know if Dad will be judgmental about the fact that I'm not married, but he would probably at least be stunned at the big news. I don't want to deal at all if he's judgmental. If he is, my reaction will be whatever, it's my life. I don't want to even talk about my decision to not get re-married, I don't have a glib soundbite to explain it and, having nearly achieved financial independence, I don't feel like it's anyone's business anyway.
(Speaking of potential family judgments-- so far I haven't heard any flak from my Southern Christian fundi relatives. Fortunately, they've heard about this through the grapevine from my mother, and will have had plenty of time to process this before I see any of them again. But my mother doesn't talk to my father, so I have to bring him up to speed myself.)
Phone. Bleh. No fun at all.
I guess I should send a card with a note with All the New That Fits. Seems cold or dysfunctional or something that I would drop such big news in a late father's day card rather than picking up the phone. But if I assume that my father feels exactly as I do about using the phone vs. written communication, then sending a card is actually more sensitive to the person he is than trying to act like the stereotypical perfect family would be.
Heh. Buy a card. Write a note. This is going to call for a serious amount of procrastination. I'll start with a nap.
Normally I ignore the holiday. I don't think this bothers my father. He is not the sentimental type and doesn't stand on silly ceremony. I can tell he delegates the task of sending me 2 cards a year (Christmas and my birthday) to his wife. And, realizing that he has already bought everything he needs and enough clutter and books to fill the house, he has called a halt to Christmas gift exchange, much to my relief. Screw the greeting card industry for trying to guilt us all into buying more stuff.
But I actually should communicate with Dad. He doesn't know that I'm expecting a kid or that I'm in the process of buying a house. These things are Big News and delaying telling him too much longer would be lameness. I figure you don't need to tell anyone about expecting a kid until the end of the first trimester, due to the chance of miscarriage; and, likewise, it might be crowing too soon to talk about a house purchase until the P&S. So this gives me a week or two of slack before it starts becoming lame of me to keep mum on things.
But Father's Day should be a perfect opportunity to catch up. A Good Daughter would call Dad on Father's Day to say "happy father's day" and tell all the news. But I hate talking on the phone, and I think that Dad is exactly the same way. We really don't like talking on the phone when there might be some awkwardness in the conversation. Awkward-- like, I don't know if Dad will be judgmental about the fact that I'm not married, but he would probably at least be stunned at the big news. I don't want to deal at all if he's judgmental. If he is, my reaction will be whatever, it's my life. I don't want to even talk about my decision to not get re-married, I don't have a glib soundbite to explain it and, having nearly achieved financial independence, I don't feel like it's anyone's business anyway.
(Speaking of potential family judgments-- so far I haven't heard any flak from my Southern Christian fundi relatives. Fortunately, they've heard about this through the grapevine from my mother, and will have had plenty of time to process this before I see any of them again. But my mother doesn't talk to my father, so I have to bring him up to speed myself.)
Phone. Bleh. No fun at all.
I guess I should send a card with a note with All the New That Fits. Seems cold or dysfunctional or something that I would drop such big news in a late father's day card rather than picking up the phone. But if I assume that my father feels exactly as I do about using the phone vs. written communication, then sending a card is actually more sensitive to the person he is than trying to act like the stereotypical perfect family would be.
Heh. Buy a card. Write a note. This is going to call for a serious amount of procrastination. I'll start with a nap.
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no subject
Date: 2004-06-20 02:09 pm (UTC)(i'm ignoring my dad for father's day. i semi-inadvertently raised my family stock considerably by sending my grandmother flowers and a nice silver bowl for mother's day, and i can't handle the taxes on the capital gains :)
no subject
Date: 2004-06-21 05:41 pm (UTC)