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[chhotii]

I am considering a venue which has availability on June 7. Is that too late? Josh has already flown in from CA, and Rich Sr. has started driving to MA from FL, and everyone wants to process and talk about Rich now. Is that too soon? tcb and brother Mike have to find airfare from CA, and people have to prepare remarks and slideshow and music. Or is that just right? Or is there no good answer? So might as well do it then?

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Comments

[drwex]

There is no one good and absolute answer but in general "sooner" beats "later."

Not long ago a friend of mine from grad school died of cancer. His partner was not able to arrange a memorial until June, which seems like forever away. A wise person once said "Funerals are for the living."

*lots of words deleted* Do what feels right; you're carrying a lot of weight already and pleasing other people is not a weight you need to carry as well.

[quietann.livejournal.com]

When my dad died, we had about the same amount of time between his death and his memorial service. It seemed to work for most people. For my mom, the interval was about 10 days, but basically everyone who really wanted to be there was local, or already visiting.

It's true that a lot of processing will go on now, but perhaps think of it as less involving "everyone" than sub-groups who will have their own specific ritual.

I would say ask the people who are most likely to be affected, who you have named in your post.

This

[sweetmmeblue.livejournal.com]

THis is a better answer than I could have found words for. But I will add in a reminder to consider your process, what do you need?

[(Anonymous)]

you're carrying a lot of weight already and pleasing other people is not a weight you need to carry as well.

These are both very true.

Whatever ends up happening is what it will be. I'm sure it will be wonderful.

-sgw

[frotz.livejournal.com]

As a practical matter on airfares: it's a soft market right now, and you can get next-day airfares between boston and SF for mid-200s each way, which is barely worse than booking a month out. Doesn't seem like grounds to wait. (As I write this on Wednesday morning: Thursday, SFO-BOS, 7am-5:52pm, DL5831/DL2534, $259 including taxes.)

[tb]

In general timing terms I'd avoid Memorial Day weekend since lots of people will be out of town. A weekday might be better in general as people have pre-scheduled weekend committments and workplaces are generally understanding about taking time off for funerals or equivalent.

Ultimately the scheduling priority here is what works for you and a venue.

[kimberlogic.livejournal.com]

you're carrying a lot of weight already and pleasing other people is not a weight you need to carry as well

this.
people will do their best to be there. do what works best for you * family
*hugs*